Category Archives: Intention

EXHALING

September 26, 2014

EXHALING

I take a deep breath, hold it in for a second or three and let it slowly out, a balloon collapsing inside me. I turn the corners of my mouth upwards in a smile. I suppose it looks like a smile. The knot in my solar plexus stops tightening.

IMG_2602I nudge myself. Okay, okay—yes, the sun is shining through the dining-room windows lighting up the giant jade and the spider plant and all the other green growing things that share this space with me.  The prayer plant has opened wide and turned itself toward that light. The living-room has filled up with a rosy glow and through the windows there I see the maples flaming across the street.

IMG_2616

Deep breath in, hold, slowly exhale. The knot inside loosens a bit. I turn the corners of my mouth upwards again as I notice they have slipped back into a tight-lipped line, matching the tightness in my eyes. Softening, softening.

I take a long pull on my green smoothie. I taste apple and mango and banana. It is thick and sweet and dark green with spinach and kale and chard and powdered greens. Next to me is another glass filled with cool water. I hear the shower running in the bathroom. I hear the dishwasher swashing in the kitchen. I think of women who are trudging blocks or miles this morning to fill a dirty bucket with water to bring home to their children so they can have a little to drink, a little with which to cook their meal, a little in which to wash.

Unpaid bills stare at me from across the desk. There is no money today with which to pay them.

I inhale the crisp autumn air of early morning. I exhale the last of the knot in my gut.

I am cutting brilliant chrysanthemums from my garden.  IMG_2607

My eyes are smiling.

The Experiment

It began last Fall when I was trying to walk on the railroad track without falling off. I fell off about every fourth or fifth step. Finally I asked myself, “If I knew that the things I so badly want to manifest in my life depended on my being able to walk this rail without falling, would I walk it differently?” I thought about it for a few minutes, and then I stepped up on the rail again. I was focused and intent on remaining on the rail. And I did. All the way to where I needed to leave the track and walk down the road to my house. I have walked the rail many days since, and always, when my intention is focused, I walk the rail easily and without losing my balance.

I can’t say I have been walking through my life quite as surely or as easily or with such fine balance. But the lesson has not escaped my notice. A new experiment in my life has been underway since this past September. As with any skill, I understand it will take focused practice.

This is my experiment: if I intentionally, day after day, focus on being present and in the Now–if I am able to accept what IS in the Now without resistance while still holding the images of myself and my life as I want them to be, if I focus on nurturing a positive attitude, if I daily open myself to the frequencies of Love and of Light–will I experience the changes in my life that I desire? For real?

I set my foot again upon this “rail”, I find my focal point, and I walk with clear intention and determination to manifest the goals I’ve set.

Intention precedes manifestation.