CRYING IN THE DARK

November 10, 2020

Yesterday I posted a letter I’d written to my eldest daughter. I was trying to express what I feel is needed during this time of great division, intense suffering and for many, myself included, confusion.

I suggested deep listening. I said we need to choose to divest ourselves of judgment and find the courage to be open-minded and open-hearted to one another. I said we need to find the strength to question our solidly held positions — what if there is more to the story? What if there is truth in the beliefs/truths held by others that seem in opposition to what I have believed to be true? What if the information we have trusted, proves itself false?

This morning I deleted the post.

I woke up feeling more heavy hearted than I have felt in some time. I’m feeling the intensity of the pain that is washing over this whole country, my family included. The pain feels worse, more intense, than it did before.  The division feels more solid than before. I feel the heat of the anger and the rage leaking into the air we are breathing.

I’m frightened, for my own family as well as the country. I don’t know what my role is during this time, but my heart gravitates to wanting to bring people together to heal. Despite whatever is being reported, whether it is true or not, and no matter who is behind the terrible things happening and predicted, I know in the deepest part of me that we have to find a way to stand together and not against each other. Somehow we need to find a way to figure out and see through what is the lie, and what is the truth. 

But this morning I feel ignorant and confused and it seems impossible to ever bring everyone together around the table to remember that loving one another is most important.

But still…and yet… well…

I know that we need to consider that each person is “our other self” as the Alaskan Unangan people believe. Who would harm their own selves unless they have lost all hope and all faith in themselves and others? We cannot lose our hope or our faith…

But how do we manage this “coming together”? What do we need to do?

How do we spread the message to “DO NO HARM”?

How do we find the courage within us to open our eyes and see the common ground we all stand upon, and the common values and desires that bind us together?

How do we find the strength to work from our common ground and our shared values to stand against this darkness?

How do we help others to find the courage to put aside their mental, emotional and physical weapons and disengage from the brain washing that urges us to fight each other, reject each other, unfriend each other…that we need to go to war in order to bring about the conditions for peace and prosperity? 

How do we remain beacons of Light in this darkness?

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