November 28, 2011

I like Brenda Ueland’s admonition to “keep a slovenly, headlong, impulsive, honest diary” as her solution to the need for writers to write everyday. I too often spend my energy beating myself up for all the days I haven’t done this, or the walk I didn’t take or the cleaning I didn’t do or the meditation I skipped—how silly is this? What is the appeal to this way of living that draws my Ego like a drug? My daily Shame fix. Would I know how to live without it?

Shrugging off the crave, I look around me and I keep my promise to myself. I will focus today on beauty, on what gives me joy, on feeling wonderful. I will smile through my day and radiate love to others. If that is all I achieve, it will be enough. At least for today.

I watched THRIVE last night, a comprehensive documentary on the state of the world and how we got to where we are. It matter-of-factly presents research that confirms all kinds of conspiracy theories that we haven’t wanted to believe. We are shown where we have, and continue to trustingly, gullibley participate in our own destruction. We are confronted with what our world is quickly becoming if nothing is done to stop it. This is one wake-up call that makes it difficult to hit the snooze button and go back to sleep. I am stunned and sobered. I realize that anger and rage will not change anything—unless it is the only way I am able to remain awake. Unless it is the only fuel that will propel me to action. But what action? What do we do when we are filled with raging anger? Try to fight a monster equipped with weapons of mass destruction with a paring knife?

Those who have been telling us that the answer lies in this: that we must do the internal work we need to do in order to live from our hearts, from love and kindness and forgiveness, are absolutely correct. We need to move into action led by the most powerful forces in the Universe—Light (knowledge and wisdom) and Love (kindness, forgiveness, compassion) and Joy (creative power). Darkness is displaced only when we cause light to shine, no matter how small the light. Love has always triumphed over fear and hate. Joy allows creative energy to flow.

I watched another film, 2012: A Message of Hope . And, despite the suffering and sorrow and horrors and all that is at stake on our planet, the message was: “Do not fear. Meditate. Be led by your heart. Do what you do from Love.” Love is the opposite of fear. And science has proven that the electro-magnetic field of our heart is much more powerful than that of our brain. The wisdom of the heart and decisions and actions taken based on the heart have more power and generate more creativity and life than those of the brain/mind. Interesting.

Love. Gratitude. Joy. These are my talismans—that which I can activate, focus upon and allow to guide me through each day. I trust that the more I do so, the fear and dread and shame that rule so much of my life will weaken and slowly lose their grip and I will be free like I have never been. I won’t be afraid then to show up where I am needed.

And when I show up, there is one more light dispelling the darkness.

As the host of the film tells us at the end, the power wielded by those who have controlled the world completely depends on us, the people. Without our cooperation, without our collusive behavior, their power will fail. Without the darkness of our ignorance they are exposed. Will we accept the time we were born to and do what must be done to reclaim our Earth Mother and the right of Her children to thrive? Or, like the traitor in the film The Matrix, will we choose to go back to sleep?

I like this quote by George Carlin; “The owners of this country know the truth: It’s called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.”

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